In My Feelings

It’s my birthday, but I’m in no celebratory mood

It’s been a while since I have been.

So many conflicting thoughts

I don’t know how to feel

I feel:

Lost

Tired

Alone

Confused

Frustrated

Overwhelmed

Lost,

Is this real life?

What’s my purpose?

Do I have one?

What is the end goal?

Where do I go from here?

Tired,

So it is true,

Time is just but an illusion

And I’m stuck in this never-ending loop

Let me out

Alone,

Someone please,

Help!

I need to know how to pick back up,

How to walk again

That this isn’t the end

Confused,

What do I do?

Where do I go?

Who am I?

Frustrated,

At myself, why me?

Why do I do the things I do?

Why do I just not care!

Overwhelmed,

Like the great Freddie Mercury once said,

I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all

Then I wouldn’t have to think about everything that life truly is

And not have the guilt of wanting to end it all

Just,

To not feel

I have a birthday wish this year,

Someone please hold my hand

Or at least see me.